Why I'm an Atheist

I was raised in a household by fairly open minded Christian parents who went to church in childhood but never took me to church. We celebrate Christmas and Easter as a family but otherwise religion was rarely discussed in detail in my home. I think I will always celebrate these holidays simply because they have a lot of family meaning to me even though I don't have any belief in the religious meaning behind them. I try to do this in the most respectful way possible.

When I was still very young I thought that Christianity didn't make sense to me. I didn't like the idea that in order to accept most any religion you had to say that billions of other people were wrong about their deeply held convictions. It seemed people would take on a religions simply because that is the background the had. This developed into a greater sense that other religions also didn't make sense to me for largely the same reasons.

I do remember, when I was very little, praying but not really understanding why a God with a plan would need to be swayed by verbalized prayers particularly if since he was all knowing he would know what I was going through, thinking, and feeling. I had trouble with the idea that a God would care about one sports team praying for an outcome harder than an other... or far worse that he would take sides in a war where lives were lost based on prayer. It seemed presumptuous to pray for the downfall of someone else.

Some of the things asked of us in the bible such as punishments for sins that weren't really noted by people nowadays confused me. Touching the flesh of a dead pig is punishable by death in the old testament. If the bible was the word of God why were people picking and choosing which parts they were choosing to live by?

I had trouble with the idea that some great all knowing wise being would be so absorbed in the small behaviors of individuals. So many things asked of human beings in the bible seemed vain and petty. It seemed less likely that man was created in God's image but that god was created in man's flawed, power driven, and patriarchal image. The fact that religion could be and was manipulated to control the masses seemed to make this all the more likely. Religion is the perfect way to establish order. What better way to ensure good behavior of the masses than to tell them that an invisible man in the sky is watching them and will damn them to a fiery eternity if they misstep even if no mortal man ever knows?

It interested me that so many cultures separated would come up with different religions. It seemed like mankind all over the world was trying to understand why they were there and how everything worked. Religion seemed like a perfect way to establish perfect order. What better way to ensure good behavior of the masses than to tell them that an invisible man in the sky is watching them and will damn them to a fiery eternity if they mistep even if no mortal man ever knows?

The lack of evidence on top of this was the worst. There are too many explanations that seem far more likely.

At a young age I then came to the conclusion that religion in general just wasn't something I could place any level of faith behind. There were too many inconsistencies.

I am an atheist. However, I personally am not comfortable saying that I believe there isn't a God. That takes a certain level of faith, however tiny, and while, "You can't prove he doesn't exist," is a horrible argument too often used to try to "disprove" or at least argue against atheism, I don't want to risk being fundamentalist in any direction. I don't want to risk being as close minded as so many people I am deeply offended and frustrated by. I never want to force my beliefs on someone else. I do however enjoy conversations on the topic if the other person is open to it.

I am an atheist not an agnostic (at least not in terms of being uncommitted to a particular world view). I have an absence of a belief in any form of deities. While I can't avoid saying it isn't an incredibly almost infinitesimal possibility I certainly don't believe there is a God.