One of my favorite topics to see romanticized in movies, books, or simply in my own world view is the intertwined nature of the universe. It's comforting to know... that even though you may feel insignificant you may have completely changed to course of someones life by delaying them an extra minute at the checkout while you dig around in your purse for a credit card. Maybe they would have been in a car crash, maybe they'll be in one now, it could determine whether they run into the love of their life. The point is we're all in it together and you are influenced more by a stranger than you realize. I find that beautiful. It makes me feel comforted when I'm at my loneliest. Every choice we make... whether we smile at the person we pass on the street has some value and is input into the overall equation of the universe. Small changes could have a huge impact.
We're all connected and what we say and do matters. We can change another person's life far more easily than we realize. Yet in this day and age... with so many ways to reach out to others... technology such as the internet making the world so much smaller and allowing so many new connections... why is it people seem to have a much harder time relating to one another?
It's understandable that we wouldn't break down into sobs when hearing of a massacre in which a hundred died on the other side of the world. It would be hard to live a healthy life and feel for every tragedy around the world. At a certain point disconnecting is the only way to get by. That's not that disconnect I'm referring to.
People seem capable of forgetting that they have an influence on other human beings. It seems so much more common to see interactions where people entirely fail to put themselves in someone else's position. It's the person who shoves past others to get to where they're going, not carrying that you dropped everything as a result. The person who takes out all their frustrations on the cashier that's going a little too slow. It's the person that leaves a hurtful, degrading, pointless criticism on someone's online post. It's everywhere.
(Edit: I used a story I had apparently read about but didn't link as an example of this here. Apparently I'd read something about a young man who committed suicide while broadcasting it live online and the police weren't called until after he was cold 12 hours after his initial announcement of his intent. I don't know if this story was true/accurate as I don't have a source to reference. I stated he'd made the threat before and seemed to believe no helpful words were offered throughout... I don't know how accurate this is. I don't know if people thought he was acting but according to my version he was cheered on. I remove the original paragraph it because I have a different take and some real world training on suicide prevention and because I question the accuracy... but leave this because it's clearly what prompted the whole post for me.)
It seems the technology that lets us connect with the rest of the world for at least some does just the opposite. The sense of anonymity lets people think that can do or say anything and the weight of their choices doesn't matter. It's too easy to forget or not care that there are real people out there on the other side of all these screens. The insults are heard by someone real. Your kinda advice does impact the mood and choices of someone out there. Shoving people out of the way to get your point across has an impact on everyone else.
It's exhausting to imagine how even little things we do without thinking have an impact. For this reason it can be tempting to avoid it or ignore it at times. To a certain degree that can be healthy. If we're too afraid to do anything that might offend we won't make many good points. We might not feel comfortable doing anything if taken too far. I think we've become too good at pushing it all out of mind to meet our own needs. It's too easy to disconnect and overlook the very real pain or joy that's present all around us and impacted by our choices. We need to learn to stop and think or we'll lose some very core parts of what makes us human.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Why I'm an Atheist
I was raised in a household by fairly open minded Christian parents who went to church in childhood but never took me to church. We celebrate Christmas and Easter as a family but otherwise religion was rarely discussed in detail in my home. I think I will always celebrate these holidays simply because they have a lot of family meaning to me even though I don't have any belief in the religious meaning behind them. I try to do this in the most respectful way possible.
When I was still very young I thought that Christianity didn't make sense to me. I didn't like the idea that in order to accept most any religion you had to say that billions of other people were wrong about their deeply held convictions. It seemed people would take on a religions simply because that is the background the had. This developed into a greater sense that other religions also didn't make sense to me for largely the same reasons.
I do remember, when I was very little, praying but not really understanding why a God with a plan would need to be swayed by verbalized prayers particularly if since he was all knowing he would know what I was going through, thinking, and feeling. I had trouble with the idea that a God would care about one sports team praying for an outcome harder than an other... or far worse that he would take sides in a war where lives were lost based on prayer. It seemed presumptuous to pray for the downfall of someone else.
Some of the things asked of us in the bible such as punishments for sins that weren't really noted by people nowadays confused me. Touching the flesh of a dead pig is punishable by death in the old testament. If the bible was the word of God why were people picking and choosing which parts they were choosing to live by?
I had trouble with the idea that some great all knowing wise being would be so absorbed in the small behaviors of individuals. So many things asked of human beings in the bible seemed vain and petty. It seemed less likely that man was created in God's image but that god was created in man's flawed, power driven, and patriarchal image. The fact that religion could be and was manipulated to control the masses seemed to make this all the more likely. Religion is the perfect way to establish order. What better way to ensure good behavior of the masses than to tell them that an invisible man in the sky is watching them and will damn them to a fiery eternity if they misstep even if no mortal man ever knows?
It interested me that so many cultures separated would come up with different religions. It seemed like mankind all over the world was trying to understand why they were there and how everything worked. Religion seemed like a perfect way to establish perfect order. What better way to ensure good behavior of the masses than to tell them that an invisible man in the sky is watching them and will damn them to a fiery eternity if they mistep even if no mortal man ever knows?
The lack of evidence on top of this was the worst. There are too many explanations that seem far more likely.
At a young age I then came to the conclusion that religion in general just wasn't something I could place any level of faith behind. There were too many inconsistencies.
I am an atheist. However, I personally am not comfortable saying that I believe there isn't a God. That takes a certain level of faith, however tiny, and while, "You can't prove he doesn't exist," is a horrible argument too often used to try to "disprove" or at least argue against atheism, I don't want to risk being fundamentalist in any direction. I don't want to risk being as close minded as so many people I am deeply offended and frustrated by. I never want to force my beliefs on someone else. I do however enjoy conversations on the topic if the other person is open to it.
I am an atheist not an agnostic (at least not in terms of being uncommitted to a particular world view). I have an absence of a belief in any form of deities. While I can't avoid saying it isn't an incredibly almost infinitesimal possibility I certainly don't believe there is a God.
When I was still very young I thought that Christianity didn't make sense to me. I didn't like the idea that in order to accept most any religion you had to say that billions of other people were wrong about their deeply held convictions. It seemed people would take on a religions simply because that is the background the had. This developed into a greater sense that other religions also didn't make sense to me for largely the same reasons.
I do remember, when I was very little, praying but not really understanding why a God with a plan would need to be swayed by verbalized prayers particularly if since he was all knowing he would know what I was going through, thinking, and feeling. I had trouble with the idea that a God would care about one sports team praying for an outcome harder than an other... or far worse that he would take sides in a war where lives were lost based on prayer. It seemed presumptuous to pray for the downfall of someone else.
Some of the things asked of us in the bible such as punishments for sins that weren't really noted by people nowadays confused me. Touching the flesh of a dead pig is punishable by death in the old testament. If the bible was the word of God why were people picking and choosing which parts they were choosing to live by?
I had trouble with the idea that some great all knowing wise being would be so absorbed in the small behaviors of individuals. So many things asked of human beings in the bible seemed vain and petty. It seemed less likely that man was created in God's image but that god was created in man's flawed, power driven, and patriarchal image. The fact that religion could be and was manipulated to control the masses seemed to make this all the more likely. Religion is the perfect way to establish order. What better way to ensure good behavior of the masses than to tell them that an invisible man in the sky is watching them and will damn them to a fiery eternity if they misstep even if no mortal man ever knows?
It interested me that so many cultures separated would come up with different religions. It seemed like mankind all over the world was trying to understand why they were there and how everything worked. Religion seemed like a perfect way to establish perfect order. What better way to ensure good behavior of the masses than to tell them that an invisible man in the sky is watching them and will damn them to a fiery eternity if they mistep even if no mortal man ever knows?
The lack of evidence on top of this was the worst. There are too many explanations that seem far more likely.
At a young age I then came to the conclusion that religion in general just wasn't something I could place any level of faith behind. There were too many inconsistencies.
I am an atheist. However, I personally am not comfortable saying that I believe there isn't a God. That takes a certain level of faith, however tiny, and while, "You can't prove he doesn't exist," is a horrible argument too often used to try to "disprove" or at least argue against atheism, I don't want to risk being fundamentalist in any direction. I don't want to risk being as close minded as so many people I am deeply offended and frustrated by. I never want to force my beliefs on someone else. I do however enjoy conversations on the topic if the other person is open to it.
I am an atheist not an agnostic (at least not in terms of being uncommitted to a particular world view). I have an absence of a belief in any form of deities. While I can't avoid saying it isn't an incredibly almost infinitesimal possibility I certainly don't believe there is a God.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Initiating
I live alone. My boyfriend lives two hours away. So I'm effectively single without being able to date while not even sharing a space with another individual. To top it off I'm shy. I definitely have friends, but if I don't end up hooking up with them for the evening when I'm feeling social, I'm stuck doing what I'm doing at the moment; messing around on my computer on my front porch hoping a nearby neighbor will find me and converse. Throw in the fact that I'm drinking beer by myself and you have a winner for somewhat pitiful (I'm being generous for myself) lonely chick. (Especially considering my neighbors have encouraged me to knock on their doors to hang out and I even have beers to share.)
Post note: I managed to outlast the neighbors on both sides of me. They went to bed... before I went inside in 50-some degree weather. Granted I'm a little drunk... 'cause although I only had two beers... I donated blood today. Sad as it may be I expect to stay here another half hour in hopes someone will exit at keep me company. Damn it. I was even buying beer at the same time as one of my less familiar neighbors... what does a decently attractive nice female who is willing to share alcohol have to do?.... Seriously!!!
On the plus side, from what I can hear my neighbors are watching utter crap.
So here's the deal. I need to work on initiating. I'm dramatically better about it than I used to be. I, for example, didn't meet my neighbors until recently but have lived next to them all for the last year. Ridiculous. I always think it's funny that you can hear the very most basic goings on of a person's life... like toilets flushing, showers running, dishwashers, music, sex... yet not even know their name. To feel somewhat warmed by the presence of another human being while knowing that if you ran into them on the street you wouldn't recognize them and know next to nothing about them is a little strange. I also want to note that while I do note these sounds... I'm not struggling to hear them or whatever creepy things one might imagine... I just feel connected when I notice these things every now and then. It's interesting to wonder how anyone can influence someone's life in that sort of way and have no idea.
I'm one of those individuals who contemplates how a seemingly unimportant interaction with say someone at a bus stop, or a person asking for change for a payphone because their cell phone has died... can influence the lives of both individuals. Delaying someone for five seconds could be the difference between them reconnecting with a long lost friend or them meeting a potential love interest. If you don't get what I mean watch the chick-flick Sliding Doors (as it corroborates some of my favorite world concepts. I do enjoy what I consider to be a chick flick in this instance).
But I stray from my main point. Why is it that even though I have four perfectly good beers, and if I do say so myself some pretty descent company, I am too afraid to reach out and tap on my neighbor's door?
Post note: I managed to outlast the neighbors on both sides of me. They went to bed... before I went inside in 50-some degree weather. Granted I'm a little drunk... 'cause although I only had two beers... I donated blood today. Sad as it may be I expect to stay here another half hour in hopes someone will exit at keep me company. Damn it. I was even buying beer at the same time as one of my less familiar neighbors... what does a decently attractive nice female who is willing to share alcohol have to do?.... Seriously!!!
On the plus side, from what I can hear my neighbors are watching utter crap.
So here's the deal. I need to work on initiating. I'm dramatically better about it than I used to be. I, for example, didn't meet my neighbors until recently but have lived next to them all for the last year. Ridiculous. I always think it's funny that you can hear the very most basic goings on of a person's life... like toilets flushing, showers running, dishwashers, music, sex... yet not even know their name. To feel somewhat warmed by the presence of another human being while knowing that if you ran into them on the street you wouldn't recognize them and know next to nothing about them is a little strange. I also want to note that while I do note these sounds... I'm not struggling to hear them or whatever creepy things one might imagine... I just feel connected when I notice these things every now and then. It's interesting to wonder how anyone can influence someone's life in that sort of way and have no idea.
I'm one of those individuals who contemplates how a seemingly unimportant interaction with say someone at a bus stop, or a person asking for change for a payphone because their cell phone has died... can influence the lives of both individuals. Delaying someone for five seconds could be the difference between them reconnecting with a long lost friend or them meeting a potential love interest. If you don't get what I mean watch the chick-flick Sliding Doors (as it corroborates some of my favorite world concepts. I do enjoy what I consider to be a chick flick in this instance).
But I stray from my main point. Why is it that even though I have four perfectly good beers, and if I do say so myself some pretty descent company, I am too afraid to reach out and tap on my neighbor's door?
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